


Voices in the Forest

by PinkCanary



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 11:39:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkCanary/pseuds/PinkCanary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:  Visiting the Forest of Fallen Runners is never easy, but this visit is harder than most.</p>
<p>MAJOR SPOILERS FOR S2M39!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Voices in the Forest

Sam always found it hard to believe that days like this still existed. The weather was perfect; the sun filtering through the trees to warm the spring soil, the fluffy white clouds drifting lazily across the blue sky. Birds were singing high above them, calling to their mates as they collected materials to make their nests. Last autumn's carpet of leaves squished underfoot, muffling footsteps and providing a clean, earthy smell. On days like this, one could almost believe that the world was as it had been _before_ , like nothing had ever happened.

The cheerful atmosphere was in stark contrast to the small group of runners who were entering the Forest. 

Runners Five, Four, and Six led the small group as they picked their way along the leafy path. None of the three spoke as they ran; their faces wore almost identical grim expressions. They were followed close behind by several more junior runners; their eyes scanning the forest anxiously as they ran. For some, it was their first visit to the Forest and they had no idea what to expect.

Sam and Janine brought up the rear. Sam's presence was a given, but there had been some discussion as to whether Janine would be accompanying them. In the end, tradition gave way to sentimentality, and they had agreed that she deserved to be there as much as any of them. 

The group abruptly stopped as they reached a clearing. 

"We're here." Jody stated, unnecessarily. 

Sam stepped away from the group, as the runners got to work removing the torches that had been lashed to the tops of their backpacks. It really was a lovely place, he thought, as the sunlight filtered through the leaves of the maple and oak trees that towered above them. A lovely and sad and terrible place. Alice always liked it here. Said that she could almost hear the voices of their friends, as she stood in this clearing. Sam never heard the voices; he only felt the weight of the sadness that the living brought to this place. But that was important to feel, too.

He stepped back to the group of runners, as they began claiming their own torches from the small pile. A sudden awkward silence fell over the group, and Sam took a step closer to take a look. There was one torch still on the ground, a messy "3" painted on the handle in white. Next to him, Janine took a minute step closer to the torch before catching herself and taking a larger step back. 

Jody practically growled in frustration. "Oh, fuck it. The asshole was my best friend. I'll take it." 

It was the first Sam had heard Jody talk about Simon since he had been revealed to be the traitor. She had seemed to retreat into herself; braver than she used to be, but also quieter and less…. vibrant. It was like Simon's betrayal had killed something inside her, just as viciously as it had killed Archie or the Major. Without another word, she took her torch and Runner Three's, and set off into the woods. 

The other runners followed her lead, until it was just Sam, Janine, and Runner Eight left in the clearing. The new runner looked nervous, glancing down the trail to where the other runners had disappeared, as she waited for her instructions. 

The discussion of whether to retire Runner Eight's number had gone on for weeks. It seemed like it was brought up every time the runners were in a room together; at every meal, on long supply runs, bickering over the headsets. It went unsaid that Sara was a legend in her own right - how could another runner ever live up to her legacy? Janine had been the most adamant about letting the number go. Sam, the most vocal about assigning another Runner Eight as soon as possible. 

The discussion was continuing at breakfast one morning, when Runner Five spoke up. She had been silent on the subject up until now, and everyone startled a little to hear her addressing the group. 

"The person doing the job may change, but Runner Five lives on. That's what she told me, once. We need to let Runner Eight live on. It's what she wanted. It's the only way to honour what she did."

The new Runner Eight had been given her designation a few days later.

Sam handed her the torch. "You need to find the torch in the woods marked Eight, and use it to light your own. As you look for it, you will pass other torches. Some will be held by runners, and others will be standing on their own, to honour the runners that we have lost." His voice wavered a bit as he spoke.

As Runner Eight set off, Sam stole a glance at Janine. She had been silent since they had left Abel, and her mouth was held in a thin line. 

"It's a lovely place," he offered.

Janine's eyes flickered to Sam's face for a moment. "It is very peaceful."

"I hate coming here. It feels like when we used to visit my nan's grave at the cemetery. I could never understand why my father wanted to go there all the time - nan wasn't there. She was never there." He sighed. "But it's important to the runners. They feel a connection to the place."

Janine didn't answer, and so Sam sat down on a rock to wait for Runner Eight to return from her run. 

After the "initiation" part of the ceremony, visits to the Forest always kind of evolved into a quiet sort of visitation. The runners would wander through the woods, stopping at some torches for longer than others, giving each other privacy to say what they needed to say. Janine headed down the path without comment; it was her first visit to the Forest, so Sam knew that she might take a long time, although he was pretty sure he knew where he would find her. 

Unlike Runner Eight, there had been no discussion at all about reusing Runner Three's number. There was so much pain and anger attached to the Three - saddling a new runner with that burden was unthinkable. The runners still spoke of Simon in hushed half sentences; the anger at his betrayal was always tinged with regret and genuine sadness at his death. The most awkward moments came when someone started to tell a story about Simon with real fondness…. only to trail off uncomfortably. No, there was no way that they could designate another Runner Three. 

Sam began to walk in the direction that he knew Runner Five would have taken. His feet were awkward and unsure as he picked his way over the roots and rocks of the Forest. The sadness of the place was almost stifling. It had been many months since he had made this walk; he felt overwhelmed and almost turned back, but forced himself onward. 

Predictably, he found Runner Five's lit torch abandoned, stuck into the deep brown leaf bed. The sight of the torch standing without a runner made Sam's throat tighten in panic, but he forced down the feeling and approached it, anyway. He reached out and traced the number five with his index finger - feeling the imperfections in the paint, the grain of the wood. He can't bring himself to believe that Alice lives here, in this oppressive sad place, and so he pays tribute to the number and not the four runners who have worn it. _Coward_ , he thinks to himself.

He continues on. 

Past Six, Seventeen, Thirteen, Seven. Sam finds Five sitting in the middle of the path in front of Eight. He stops a few metres down the trail and considers leaving her be, but she calls out to him without looking in his direction.

"You can come sit with me. If you want to."

The trail is damp and squishy, just like he knew it would be, and Sam cringes a bit as he feels the wetness seeping through his best pair of trousers. 

Ironically, it is Five who finally breaks the silence.

"I hope she's with her boys right now. She believed that…" Five falters there, her voice thick with emotion.

Sam reached out and gripped her hand. "I know she is. She was…. so strong. So brave. The best."

"I've been trying so hard to be as brave as she was. It was easy when she was right beside me. She was never afraid of anything. Now… it's just hard. I feel like I'm trying to fill her shoes, but I'm only a tenth of her size."

Sam turned his head and _looked_ at Five. He had seen her at her worst, injured and delirious and hallucinating, after being captured by Van Ark. But he had never seen her this look this small and frightened, this _shaken_.

"I was there when she died, I watched Paula end her life…. but I can't really believe that she's dead, yet. I keep waiting for her to burst in at a particularly scary moment, ready to save my life."

Sam gave her a watery grin. "She always did excel at grand entrances."

"She was a hero. A big damn hero. And it doesn't seem right that her life could just fade out like that, right in front of me. She was stronger than that. She was bigger than that." Five was starting to ramble, tears glittering in her eyes.

"Oh, Five…. just…." Sam gave up, and pulled the runner into his arms. She buried her face into his shoulder and started to cry in earnest. They had all been pushing through the last few months, just trying to stay alive, and now that Five had allowed the slightest crack in her facade, the walls crumbled. He just held her, letting her grieve for her friend and mentor. 

Finally, Five's sobs became sniffles, and Sam trusted his voice enough to speak.

"She was a hero. And she saved all of us. It's going to be hard without her, but we have to keep moving forward. She would be pretty damn angry at us all if we didn't."

Five snorted a little, and pulled her face away to wipe her face on the sleeve of her shirt. "I'm sorry about your jumper."

Sam looked down at the wet mark on the front of his own shirt. "It's ok, it matches my trousers. C'mon, let's get back to the others before they have to send out a search party." 

In the end, they weren't the last to arrive back at the clearing, but eventually their group was whole and ready to head home to Abel. Janine wouldn't meet Sam's gaze, but he could see that her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. Sam looked away; they all had their own demons to confront, these days.

Sam felt Five's hand slide into his, as they started to move out of the clearing. Her whisper was so soft that he could barely hear it, but he understood the words, anyway. "Keep moving forward." 

He gave her hand a squeeze and a soft tug as they stepped out of the forest, and started on the road back to Abel.


End file.
